Saying “NO” more often!

September 7 , 2019 / Posted by Kathie Mathis / Uncategorized / No Comments

Saying “NO” more often!

Saying no is sometimes hard for people to do.  They feel obligated, guilty, inadequate at possibly completing the request or any other excuse, so say “yes” when they should have said “no”!  We need to realize that sometimes saying no to something opens up the door for the “yes” we need.

I know I have a desire to meet agencies training needs and want to help them improve their staff’s education or agencies ability to increase services.  Even when my calendar is already overbooked, I will from time to time, try to squeeze in another training because I don’t want to let that agency down. This leads to lack of sleep, lack of time to do other things I have on my list to do, etc.  In our zeal to “meet” a need of one kind or another, we may let self care go out the window.  Also, if one is in a relationship, it may hinder the time given to the significant other and put at risk the relationship.

Saying no is a healthy way to set boundaries for what’s most important during each of life’s changes and stages. Family is important and relationship is important. If you are leaving them out of your life because you can’t say no to something, someone, some work, you will miss life’s memory making possibility, time with a loved one (and we know time flies by so fast), and create guilt later on if not immediately by making the choices that don’t prioritize our life well.

Another reason we can say no is because by doing so we can maintain work-life balance. Self-care is important in living a life full of joy, happiness, fulfillment and passion.  A study was done on the most happy people in America and it was found that those people who had support systems and relationships with others on a regular basis were the happiest.  Most of us want relationships and connectedness with others which may be affected negatively if we don’t say no to things that separate us from them.  So no can turn into a yes if we remember to have work-life balance.  That doesn’t mean we can’t add things to our lives but we must maintain a balance.

When we say no it also helps us to keep our “main” thing a main thing. On a practical and philosophical level, saying no helps us keep our main thing – whatever that is – a priority as mentioned above. It allows us the freedom to understand ourselves, others, and choices in a better way.  It might just provide you a life-work balance that would not otherwise be there and provide you less anxiety, depression, guilt, co-dependency, anger, frustration, and replace it with more control over one’s work-life balance, happiness, joy, laughter, connectedness, partnerships, understanding and so much more.  Try saying no for balance in your life and see the results you will find for healthier living .

 

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