New Year’s can be a shaky time for those of us who aren’t yet comfortable with the ground we’re standing on, with where and who we are in the current versions of our lives. It can be unwelcome for those of us who rejoice in the fact that most days go by without the need for reflection and self-judgment. But, alas, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are not most days.
They are the days when we can’t help but stare our lives and ourselves straight in the face, when we are forced to judge what we see honestly in order to gauge where we are, where we’re heading and if where we’re heading is where we really want to go. This forced self-reflection, augmented either by overextension of family time, alcohol, or both during the holidays, can very easily lead to a magnification of what we’ve decided are our most glaring shortcomings and a masking of what we too easily forget are our greatest strengths. It can be a time that drives us to vices of self-doubt, avoidance and regret. But it has to be.
I think this time of year and the reflection that comes with it can also be a chance to give ourselves a much-needed pep talk and opportunity. A chance to remind ourselves of what we’ve loved about our lives and ourselves in 2013, and to be okay with all the imperfections therein, but to plan to work on them and set goals to improve ourselves in 2014.
What if we took a moment this New Years to close our eyes? And while our eyes are closed, we let ourselves think about all the fears, concerns and anxieties we have about the direction our lives are taking?
And then, once all those fears and concerns are at the forefront of our minds, what if, instead of feeling like we’re drowning in them, we feel like we’re motivated by them? What if we tell ourselves that the passing of another year isn’t a crisis that needs intervention but a checkpoint that needs affirmation and that motivation for improvement in our lives is the goal for our new year? Not an affirmation that we are where we want to be, but an affirmation that we are where we are and motivation for where we want to be. This helps to face fear straight in the face and then take the action necessary to achieve the changes we want in our lives for the new year.
Let’s take a moment this New Year’s to really think about who and what we’ve gotten to see and experience each day, each week, and each month in the past year. Think about what has felt right about those things and what has felt wrong about them. And then let’s take a deep breath. And then, after a while, let’s see if we can let those breaths fuel the fire inside us that creates change.
We’ll seek not perfection but that imperfection that can be made acceptable to us. Because perfect doesn’t exist, but we do. As we are right now. Just for a moment, maybe we should let the future be just that. And the past too. Maybe we should think of the passing of another year not as a reminder that life is passing us by, but as a reminder that it isn’t.
Happy New Year remember that awareness + action = change!! May this year be the best you have had because you decide to make every day the best it can be!!
