In some cases I mean this literally. If a person’s attitude is negatively affecting you, don’t spend time around them. This literal meaning might not be possible if they are your co-worker, if you lead them or if they are your close family member, at least not immediately. But it is very possible to do so in your personal life by limiting the time spent with this person – especially if the other ideas below don’t help you.
If the person works for you, buys from you or sells to you – you might not be able to remove them from your work immediately.
Separate the Behavior From the Person
Just because someone’s behavior is upsetting and baffling to you plus brings down your attitude – that doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Thankfully behavior can change. When you remember this and can make this separation, it will help you put their attitude into a different perspective, and perhaps keep their mindset from influencing yours quite as much.
Acknowledge, But Don’t Agree
Often people want us to collude with their bad luck stories, and often those stories negatively impact our attitude. If or when we can’t distance or disassociate from people, listening to their perspectives and stories is okay – but we don’t have to agree with them. Listen to be empathetic if needed, but don’t take on their issues in the progress. Look for the positive angle or benefit in their “isn’t it awful” story. You may choose to share your different perspective with them (dependent on the situation and relationship). Either way, the mental exercise of looking for the good angle will help keep you from their negative attitude.
Inoculate Yourself From the Contagion
Medical professionals give us all kinds of good advice of things we can do to reduce the chance of getting the flu or catching a virus. Their advice may be to get more rest, have a better diet, wash our hands and in some cases inoculating ourselves to keep from getting the illness
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We can inoculate ourselves against negative attitudes as well. Here is a (very) short list of ideas to get you started – the common thread involves consciously and intentionally putting more positive thoughts into your mind to help overcome the negative.
*Read things that inspire you. It could be spiritual material, biographies of successful people (who likely have overcome great negativity in their lives), *poetry or whatever inspires you.
*Watch uplifting movies.
*Spend time with positive people.
*Practice looking for the good in situations.
*Create a gratitude journal – write down things each day that you are thankful for.
*Influence Their Attitude – attitude is contagious, but so is yours.
*How about being supportive, offering to help, or being encouraging? How about a smile? How about having a positive outlook that might help them change theirs?
Let It Go
There is something else we can do too. When we remember that their attitude is their choice, we can choose to let go of their attitude’s influence on us.
These ideas can help you reduce the impact of other people’s negativity on you. They will take some practice, but most anything worth doing is worth working at.
You are on the right track. Remember Awareness + Action = Change!!
