With my family, respect is a term to cover everything the adults didn’t like. My aunts and uncles always threw “Your mom is an adult.” in my face. My mother’s drinking is a problem, a problem that isn’t under control. Especially when I was younger. My uncles pushed my mom to get her to drink. It was almost a sign of respect given. Considering that boys were prized over girls. As the oldest daughter, my mom was included with her brothers. She reached a place with her brothers and parents that she was seen as equal as her brothers. My mom felt the need to go along with them as to not lose the small shred of respect she’d earned. I’m not outspoken when it comes to my family. But my mother thinks she’s knows best especially after drinking. This leads to her drunk driving with me in the car. My aunts and uncles told me that I should let her relax since I am the child. I should ignore my mothers drinking. I should not oppose this because I am a child and my mother is an adult. My opposition was seen as “Why do you care so much?,” “Why does this bother you?.” They seemed smug about these questions and putting me down. Especially because it did affect me, because they knew she would drive drunk with me in the car. It hurt me to know that my uncles were smug about my mom being so predictable. That she would drink and that I would be out at risk. There was no other parent to drive instead of my family because of my fathers work. My uncles and aunts thrived off of this fact. That they had partners to drive, to take care of the kids, to be there. I wanted my mother to put me first, to put my safety first. But my mother can’t, she craves this respect, this inclusion. She is a social climber and if it calls to risk her child or her husband then that’s fine. My mother needed to prove her strength, her reason to deserve this respect. And because of that, I have to accept that I won’t be my mother’s first priority. She will put herself first and I have to accept that that is what I am going to get from her.