Why do we need to know our love languages? What purpose will it serve us to have this insight?
Why we need to know our love language and our family members love language is because we have an ability to meet the “love need” of our children, significant other, self, and individual family members, if we know how they need to be loved. If we don’t know them then how can we be fulfilled and how can we fulfill the love needs of our family members. People have been searching to fill their need to be loved and don’t even know what their own love language is – don’t meet that need – and search to fill the void with sex, drugs, gambling, excessive shopping, excessive tattoo’s, body piercing, and so on.
If we know what our love language is then we can have happier lives. Below are some of the Emotional Love Languages to help you find yours. One may have a combination of love languages but try to find the one that is most important for you and make that something you want to bring into your life in a healthy, positive and empowering manner:
Chapman’s Five Emotional Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence.
Quality Time
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
Gifts
It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder,
planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a
gift of love.
Physical Touch
Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.
Determining
Your Own Love Language
Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:
How do I express love to others?
What do I complain about the most?
What do I request most often?
Speaking in your spouse’s love language probably won’t be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, “We’re not talking comfort. We’re talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren’t connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn’t enough.”