In his ground-breaking bestseller, “Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ” Daniel Goleman (1995) argued that Emotional Intelligence is the strongest indicator of human success. Emotions help us make quick decisions when we do not have time to analyze all the facts. Several studies have shown that people with high Emotional Intelligence scores have decreased probability of violence and criminal activity and increased mental health, job performance, academic achievement and overall life satisfaction (Goleman, 1995). Luckily, Emotional Intelligence competencies can be significantly improved and these improvements are sustainable over time(Goleman, Boyatzis, & McKee, A. 2002).
In her book “Emotional Sobriety,” Tian Dayton, Ph.D. (2007) describes a holistic approach to Emotional Intelligence and recovery including healthy self-soothing, the experience of pleasure, and support groups such as Twelve-step programs. One of the first developmental tasks that young adults in treatment need to learn is self-soothing or self-regulating. They need to develop strategies to calm down, relax and restore balance to their body and mind using activities such as exercise, yoga, meditation, journaling, and spending time in nature. These activities activate a “natural high” in young adults so that they can gradually become less dependent on substances to artificially achieve high or calm feelings. Another piece of the puzzle for young adult treatment is activating feel-good body chemicals through play, laughter and creativity. Humor, creative expression and being playful help to develop positive emotion, alleviate boredom, release tension and prevent aggression.
Forgiveness and making amends, as taught in Twelve-step programs, is critical to relapse prevention. Those most vulnerable to addiction use alcohol and drugs as way to run away from pain and uncomfortable feelings.
12 Step programs are good for some people and not so good for others. One size does not fit all in recovery and so one should always try the 12 step program to see if it is a good fit for their recovery. But some need to be aware as 12 Step Programs do have their pitfalls as well. One is that older “steppers” are like predators who prey on the “new” individuals by using the 12 Step Program as a grounds for dating, grooming and interfering with the focus of recovery by not allowing the new person to focus on what they need to in order to recover. Also, some recovery individuals just replace one addiction for another and say they have recovered from addiction when in fact, they haven’t. 12 Step Programs are good for support but more intensive recovery programs are needed where there is more structure, individual attention to personalized recovery, etc.
Forgiveness of self and others is important to recovery as already mentioned. Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past and when one fully understands that concept, recovery can be received.
California Cognitive Behavioral Institute offers individualized services where you are not “one of many” – but “one who is important” in receiving specialized services. www.theccbi.com