NUMBER ONE REASONG:
THINKING YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE!
This is the single biggest hazard — and the number one reason domestic violence offenders fail to change.
It often shows up as minimizing the harm they cause, denying their actions, blaming their partner, lying about their abusive behaviors and attitudes, or justifying what they do.
One common manipulation tactic is pretending remorse. They know that a victim, desperate for peace and safety, may interpret an “I’m sorry” as genuine change. The abuser exploits this compassion — offering “performances” of attention, affection, or vulnerability to groom the victim into staying.
But these are calculated acts. Behind the façade lies premeditation: they know the abuse will happen again. They know exactly what they’re doing.
Why? Because they like the power and control. They have no intention of giving it up. This is sadism, the core of what I call relationship terrorism — deliberate domination masked as love.
The truth is: 52-week batterer intervention programs only work for those who truly desire change.
Some research shows tha  t only 3–11% of abusers genuinely change their behavior after completing these programs. The rest remain unchanged because they never believed they needed to change in the first place.
Until accountability replaces denial — until they choose humility over control — there will be no transformation.
———————-
The #1 Reason Abusers Don’t Change — Even After a 52-Week Program
👉 THINKING THEY DON’T NEED TO CHANGE!
This is the single biggest hazard — the core reason domestic violence offenders, batterers, and relationship terrorists fail to change.
They minimize the harm.
They deny their actions.
They blame their victims.
They justify the abuse.
They lie to everyone — including themselves.
And when they get caught?
They “act” sorry. They give performances of remorse — not because they feel it, but because they know a victim’s heart is kind. They know if they appear loving or broken, the victim may forgive and stay.
But behind those fake tears is premeditation — they know the abuse will happen again. They want power and control, and they have no intention of losing it.
This is not love.
It’s relationship terrorism — deliberate, strategic domination.
🚫 52-week batterer programs only work if the abuser truly wants to change.
Research shows only 3–11% actually do. The rest? They never believed they needed to change in the first place.
Until accountability replaces denial, there is no transformation.
💔 Stop confusing performance with change. ***************************