PART 1: YOU ARE NOT WEAK
When I look back on my life, I remember being married to an abuser and struggling to leave.
Eventually, I found myself trying to survive with no money, no job, and a toddler to care for.
There were times when I had to eat out of garbage cans.
For a long time, I believed my inability to leave meant I was weak.
Now I understand the truth.
I was traumatized.
I was trauma bonded.
My difficulty leaving was not a character flaw. It was part of what prolonged abuse and trauma had done to me.
If you have struggled to leave an abusive situation, please hear this:
Your survival response does not make you weak.
You may have been afraid, conditioned, isolated, manipulated, or emotionally attached to someone who was harming you.
That does not mean you lacked strength.
It means you were trying to survive.
And sometimes, survival is the first evidence of strength.
If you are currently experiencing abuse, you do not have to face it alone. When it is safe to do so, consider reaching out to someone you trust, a local domestic violence advocate, or another qualified support service. Prioritize your immediate safety, and remember that making a safety plan with a trained advocate can help you consider your options without pressuring you to take any step before you are ready.
PART 2: GOD COULD SEE WHAT I COULD NOT
At the time, I could not see a future.
I could only see the fear, uncertainty, and immediate need in front of me.
I did not know how I would provide for my child.
I did not know where the next opportunity would come from.
I did not know how my life could become anything different from what it was in that moment.
But God could see what I could not.
Even when I could not see the path, He could.
Even when I could not see a solution, He could.
Even when I could not imagine a future, He was still present.
Faith does not always mean knowing exactly what will happen next.
Sometimes faith means taking the next step while trusting that God sees the entire road.
You may not understand where your life is going right now.
But your inability to see the future does not mean God has abandoned you.
PART 3: HEALING BEGINS WITH SURVIVAL
Healing did not happen all at once.
It began with survival.
It began with getting through one day, then another.
It grew slowly through support, understanding, faith, and the willingness to believe that my life could become something different.
God placed people and opportunities in my path when I needed them.
He helped me find strength when I felt I had none left.
Sometimes healing looks like a major breakthrough.
But sometimes healing looks like:
- Getting out of bed
- Asking for help
- Telling the truth
- Setting one boundary
- Protecting your peace
- Choosing not to return
- Believing you deserve better
- Taking one more step
Do not dismiss the small steps.
Small steps are still movement.
And when you are healing from trauma, movement matters.
You do not have to heal all at once.
You only have to keep choosing the next healthy step.
PART 4: GOD DID NOT WASTE MY PAIN
I do not believe God wanted me to suffer.
I do not believe abuse was His will for my life.
But I do believe He was able to transform my pain into purpose.
My abuser did not get the final word.
My trauma did not get the final word.
Poverty did not get the final word.
Fear did not get the final word.
God did.
That does not erase what happened.
It does not make the pain acceptable.
It does not mean you have to be grateful for the abuse or the suffering.
It means your pain does not have to be the end of your story.
God can bring wisdom from what wounded you.
He can bring compassion from what broke your heart.
He can bring strength from what tried to destroy you.
Your past may be part of your story, but it does not have to be the author of your future.
PART 5: PURPOSE IS SOMETIMES DISCOVERED
Sometimes purpose is not something we invent.
It is something we discover.
We discover it as we reflect on what we have survived, what we have learned, and how our experiences might help someone else.
Ask yourself:
- What have I survived that might help someone else?
- What has my pain taught me about myself, other people, or God?
- What lessons keep appearing in my life?
- What gifts have developed because of what I have experienced?
- Who might benefit from the wisdom I have gained?
- What might God be preparing me to do?
- What is the next step I am being asked to take?
Your purpose may not be obvious right now.
It may be developing quietly through your experiences.
It may be connected to the compassion you have gained, the wisdom you have developed, or the people you are uniquely equipped to help.
You may not recognize your purpose while you are still in the middle of the process.
Sometimes you only understand it when you look back and realize how God was guiding you one step at a time.
PART 6: TAKE THE NEXT STEP
I could not see my purpose when I was trapped, afraid, or struggling to survive.
I could not see how my life could become anything more than what it was in that moment.
Now I understand that I was not walking toward nowhere.
I was healing.
I was growing.
I was becoming the person I was meant to be.
Your hardest chapter may not mean that your life has lost its purpose.
It may be preparing you to live it.
You do not have to understand the entire journey.
You do not have to see the whole path.
You do not have to know exactly how everything will work out.
You only have to take the next step.
Sometimes faith means trusting that God is working even when you cannot yet see where He is leading you.
So keep going.
Keep healing.
Keep listening.
Keep trusting.
Your story is not over.
And the chapter you are in right now may be preparing you for the purpose you cannot see yet.